Balance

A lot has been going on in my mind lately. I've been wrestling with re-direction for my life. I'm reading a book that kinda brought the struggle on. It talks about how our life is like a table and how the legs are like our emotions, spirituality, mental state, and physical state. If one leg is built up the table becomes uneven and things in our life slide off. Or how if we neglect one aspect of our life the table again becomes uneven and our life gets off balance.

The analogy has really stuck in my head because it made me realize my table or life has no balance. I tend to neglect myself in the name of being a servant. I wear myself out and over extend myself. My emotions often tend to run away with me and cause me more harm than good. My mental state wavers from solid and secure to that of a 2 year old. Granted I can't say that most people have a perfectly level table, but I would like achieve some sort of leveling in my life.

So I have been in the state of mind of reassessing what I do. Do I do things because I want to? Because God led me to? Because I feel like it is expected of me? Is it healthy to do and be because of the influences put on you by others?

And thru all this searching I realize I do a lot because of expectations of others. I do because they expect it of me. Not because God has directed to me. And I often lack joy when I do because I am supposed to.

So in this season of thought, I have come to appreciate serving on a different level. A level that is truly gratifying. A level that fills my heart instead of draining it. I have noticed my service being more of a worship experience than work. And although it may have rough moments, there is more of a clarity in them.

I have also learned that when my body says it needs sleep that it is best to give it sleep. That spending some time at home just chillin instead of running around like a mad women is perfectly ok. I have learned to cherish going to the grocery store and shopping with God. I have even learned that it is fun to just go and sit somewhere and be completely alone with God.

I have learned that good Godly friends are priceless. That laughter and tears are sweet medicine to the soul. That crankin up some music and being silly is restoring after a long day. That you need people in your life to encourage ya, make you laugh, and inspire you to keep striving to be like God.

I am learning that balance is a good thing.